I have been aware lately that I am feeling like I will break down soon. This has mostly been to do with work which is a bit of a shift for me. I generally feel like work is the ‘control’. There are rules, the most significant being if I am not being paid, I don’t do work stuff. In the past I have struggled with this, as a new social work grad I wanted to save the world and I burnt out, albeit with me in denial and arguing with people that it wasn’t burn out.
But the last year, in my current position I have felt much more clear about the personal/professional boundary. Well. I thought I was. In actual fact, I have still been bringing home and holding onto and even transferring the frustration, anger, annoyance, and so on to my personal world. Rather than thinking ‘work is work’ as an objective entity I have been thinking of it subjectively, as me. If a day was frustrating I am frustrated. If a situation is sad, I am sad.
It doesn’t have to be this way. I recently went to a conference where Dan Siegel spoke and he spoke about objectivity at work. I have always though objectivity is a dirty word in social work, it is impossible to be objective, we always have our own lens when viewing things and we must be aware of this. But what Dr Siegel spoke about was an objectivity of self and situation. I am not experiencing someone’s sadness, I am seeing it, I can empathise with it but I am not feeling it. Just as I can be frustrated with a situation and want to advocate against injustice but that situation does not have to be a part of my whole being.
There is still a part of my heart that resists this. I am a social justice warrior, that is my identity, not just a work thing but I need to work on a balance otherwise I will become a husk.
What do you do to leave work at work? Do you have rituals, habits, rules that work for you?
stumbeline 
Hello Nao!! I haven’t been aware of your blog since I changed over my wordpress details over a year ago!!! I am so so sad I’ve been missing these amazing posts (just been reading through a ton of your posts)- your writing and topics speak to me so so much (basically I went to self-hosting so I don’t get notifications of my favourite blogs anymore. Duh.)
xxx
It’s really hard to distance yourself I totally agree. In the end I had to get out of youth work for my own sanity – i hate the feelings of helplessness that comes along with being a social justice warrior. In the end if you aren’t looking after// taking care of yourself how can you do any good work? It’s often the people who DON”T take it all on that make the best social workers I think – they can see everything objectively and keep going.
I hope one day I can contribute again meaningfully to young people and poverty, homelessness and mental health issues – I’m just trying to figure out how I can do that without casework or burn out.
I’m so glad I found your blog ❤
Hello Laura, I don’t post often. I want to utilise this space more to express myself and sort of keep track of my health and well-being 🙂
Those helpless feelings are so difficult. I am moving into school social work now and (maybe naively) thinking the structure around that may suit my self-care needs more. I struggle too much with maintaining boundaries in the intensive roles!
Your life sounds pretty enriching right now, good on you for the awesome and brave things you have done and are doing!