I have been aware lately that I am feeling like I will break down soon. This has mostly been to do with work which is a bit of a shift for me. I generally feel like work is the ‘control’. There are rules, the most significant being if I am not being paid, I don’t do work stuff. In the past I have struggled with this, as a new social work grad I wanted to save the world and I burnt out, albeit with me in denial and arguing with people that it wasn’t burn out.
But the last year, in my current position I have felt much more clear about the personal/professional boundary. Well. I thought I was. In actual fact, I have still been bringing home and holding onto and even transferring the frustration, anger, annoyance, and so on to my personal world. Rather than thinking ‘work is work’ as an objective entity I have been thinking of it subjectively, as me. If a day was frustrating I am frustrated. If a situation is sad, I am sad.
It doesn’t have to be this way. I recently went to a conference where Dan Siegel spoke and he spoke about objectivity at work. I have always though objectivity is a dirty word in social work, it is impossible to be objective, we always have our own lens when viewing things and we must be aware of this. But what Dr Siegel spoke about was an objectivity of self and situation. I am not experiencing someone’s sadness, I am seeing it, I can empathise with it but I am not feeling it. Just as I can be frustrated with a situation and want to advocate against injustice but that situation does not have to be a part of my whole being.
There is still a part of my heart that resists this. I am a social justice warrior, that is my identity, not just a work thing but I need to work on a balance otherwise I will become a husk.
What do you do to leave work at work? Do you have rituals, habits, rules that work for you?
stumbeline 